Anna Grace - What Would I Do?

I saw this post on another Heat Mom's BLOG and it relly got me to thinking... what would I do? What will I do???? Because it will inveitabley happen to us. How can I handle this situation in the best possible way for Anna Grace's self esteem? How can I handle this situation in the best way to bring Glory to God? Hmmmmm......

Just thought I'd share... I welcome your input....




It's not polite to stare....

A few weeks ago I read on another heart mom's facebook post about an incident she had at her local pool. I was surprised by what had happened to her since we have never had any issues like that. We have visited several pools in our area and even outside our area with no issues. Everyone is polite and respectful.

However I suppose I jinxed myself by commenting on her post stating it has yet to happen to us because just my luck......the other day it did.

I completely understand now why the other mom was so deeply disturbed by what she saw. I didn't like it either and I never thought that it would bother me so much.....but it did.

A group of women that I often refer to as the mom squad at our local pool were all congregated in their normal spot right where Logan passes by several times. It is right next to the kiddie slide that he loves to go down. Maybe they have never noticed Logan before or possibly since the pool was unusually quiet that day they became bored and found something new to gawk at. Whatever it was they apparently forgot their manners that it's not polite to stare. This wasn't the normal oh wow look at that little boy's chest, poor thing kind of stare. This was more like the look at the son of Frankenstein in the pool kind of stare. The part that disturbed me the most was that they all stared for quite some time like it had been a group discussion that we weren't included in followed up by one mom who continued to stare for several minutes afterward.

I told my husband what had happened and of course his solution to the problem involved me waving around my giant stick and teaching them a valuable lesson about staring at our small child. While that approach may have gotten some results, not to mention cause a pretty big scene, it wasn't one that I felt was appropriate for our children to be witness to.

Granted Logan is still little and didn't really notice their gawking. However I did and I know that someday he will feel those stares. There may come a day when I can't be there to wave my giant stick around to protect him from those that want to judge him. The scar that runs down his chest is not like the typical surgery scar. It is not the very faint line that most are used to seeing on someone who has underwent heart surgery. Most people you can't even tell unless you are fairly close to them. Following Logan's second heart surgery he had carried around a pretty ugly scar. His developed keloids that make his scar look like a giant pink worm has attached itself to his chest. It is itchy and causes him some discomfort if we don't moisturize it following his bath. Logan's wonderful surgeon, God bless his heart, wanted so badly to fix that scar in January following Logan's third surgery. He and several others spent a lot of time in the operating room after they closed him up trying to make the scar look better. It didn't pan out and he still has the same scar. One cardiologist told us prior to Logan's most recent surgery that they can't fix that scar. Someday if Logan chooses to he will have to see a plastic surgeon to have that corrected and possibly endure painful cortizone injections. Of course with each surgery he has the keloids can come back and most likely will.

To me his scar is beautiful. It is a reminder of all that he has endured and fought hard to overcome. I don't see it as some freakish scar that he should be ashamed of and I most certainly don't want anyone to ever make him feel that way. I shouldn't have to cover his chest to keep prying eyes away because to me that will only feed into his own self esteem issues later in life if I am constantly telling him he has to keep his shirt on.

Someday he will ask me about his scar. He will ask me why he has one and other kids don't. I am sure there may come a time when he will not like parts of this journey and will feel discouraged that others may treat him differently. My hope is that the lessons he will learn along the way will continue to mold him into the young man that I believe he can be.

I hope that those who may read this post will see it as a learning opportunity.

It's not polite to stare even at small children. There is nothing wrong with them if they appear different from your own. They play and act like all normal children do. They want to be loved and accepted so please have a little respect. You might not get so lucky to meet me as their mom. Instead you may cross paths with the one who pulls out her giant stick and starts waving it around like a crazy person.