The Butterflys....

The butterflys are starting to come - they start fluttering in my stomach usually a few days before a cardiology appointment. We have a cardiology appointment coming up on Tuesday. Now, I don't have any specific reason to think that anything will be unusal about her echo - but with congenital heart defects sometimes looks can be deceiving. For example - most people who see Anna Grace say to me "she looks so healthy" - they really have no idea how fragile she really is. They have no idea how a cardiology appointment can turn your world upside down in an instant. How one day your planning on moving into your new house in a few weeks and the next instant you can be throwing things in a suitcase and heading to MUSC for a heart cath. It really is our reality.

With that being said - after I have all these thoughts run through my head I have to stop.... pray and give my worries to the Lord. It is a constant battle sometimes. You would think after doing this for a year now it would have gotten eaier, and maybe it will someday, but it hasn't gotten easier yet. At least not for me. Sometimes it's several times a day I have to do this: worry, stop, pray, lay it down. Seriously.

It doesn't make sense but as hard as it is to live in a state of worry it can also be HARD to lay those worries where they need to be - at the foot of the CROSS and then place my TRUST in the Lord. No matter the outcome of Anna Grace's doctor appointment the Lord will take care of us.

Of course I am praying that Anna Grace's heart will look great - that her echo will show that her heart is exactly as it should be in this stage of our journey. I really don't have any reason to believe that it won't look great. Please be praying for her on Tuseday and I will keep you posted on the results.

This heart journey is ongoing and I am still learning how to be a Heart Mom.